Empowering Domestic Violence Victims & the Women Working to Defend Them

By Melysa Sperber, Vital Voices Senior Staff Writer & Editor

“Pomogitye Mnye,” the soft-spoken woman whispered into the phone.  “Help me.” 

On the other end of the line, Marina Pisklakova-Parker listened.  The woman told a familiar story.

Marina felt the fear in the caller’s voice - the slight shiver in the words spoken, the sense of apprehension accompanying each statement, and the inevitable pauses that came when the caller could no longer speak through her tears.  Marina used those pauses to reassure the young mother, “I am here.  I will help you.  I am listening.”

Marina not only listened, she pioneered.  The hotline she established in 1993 was the only avenue for victims of domestic violence in Russia, where the economic reforms that flowed from the end of the Soviet era failed to alter the troubling dynamic of family violence that wrought havoc on so many Russian households.  No shelters existed.  No laws prohibited abuse.  No advocacy campaigns counseled victims or educated perpetrators.  There was silence - except at Center ANNA, where the phone rang over and over, alerting Marina to callers’ desperation and ultimately compelling her to break the once deafening silence.

During her first year at Center ANNA’s hotline, Marina answered every phone call.  The phone rarely stopped ringing.  Marina answered at least two women’s calls per day.  Fifteen calls every week.  Sixty calls a month.  Over seven hundred calls for the entire year.  Marina heard every story, responded to all the requests for protection, and, in some frightening circumstances, faced direct threats from the abusers.

Over the course of her first year providing direct services to women facing domestic violence in Russia, Marina attracted a team of professionals who worked with her to strengthen the hotline, to fundraise for an expansion of Center ANNA’s services, and to develop resources to train other advocates about how to protect women and children. Those loyal supporters remain at the core of Marina’s trusted advisors today, demonstrating loyalty not only to the cause but also to the person.

Each day she went to her office, however, Marina operated the hotline in isolation, answering calls alone while trying to cope with the unimaginable demand for the service she alone provided - protection and advocacy for domestic violence victims.   Constrained by confidentiality, she also could not share her struggle with family or friends.  Her sole motivation was the invisibility of the victims to whose desperate pleas law enforcement authorities remained unresponsive. 

When Marina reflects on this period, she says she learned the hard way about carrying the risk of an excessive, draining workload without an adequate support network.  Marina burnt out after only one year.    The burnout experience,  Marina explains, moved her to institutionalize coping mechanisms for her hotline staff (like mandatory meetings twice a month for counselors to emotionally debrief).  Importantly, she also developed training resources on secondary trauma for the growing network of advocates across Russia, Eurasia, and - increasingly - the world who rely on Center ANNA’s expertise on women’s international human rights, domestic violence, and human trafficking. 

Following the trauma of her first year on the hotline, Marina refocused her efforts on sustainability and advocacy.  She took time to contemplate several pivotal questions about how to move forward: What did she need as an individual to give her the tools and support to strengthen Center ANNA and the growing network of domestic violence advocates using her model to expand services across the region?  What could be done to engage the government in the struggle against domestic violence? 

It was at this critical moment in Marina’s personal life and professional career that Vital Voices invited her to its historic first conference in Vienna, Austria, hosted by then-Ambassador Swanee Hunt in July 1997. 

With Vital Voices invitation in hand, Marina flew to Europe aboard a British Airways flight destined for London.  Labor disputes with airline traffic personnel thwarted her plans as she endured such long delays that she missed her flight to Vienna and travelled home to Moscow instead.  She felt disappointed and exhausted. 

Back in Russia, she regretted the lost opportunity of Vienna when she heard from professional acquaintances and colleagues about the motivating gathering of smart, interesting, and bright women.  Marina remembers her friends recounting the conference “with stars in their eyes.”  The regret lasted only a short time because it drove Marina to reach out to Vital Voices to strengthen her support network and extend it beyond the confines of her country and region.  The Fourth U.N. World Conference on Women in Beijing, China, Marina notes, highlighted the immeasurable value of interconnectedness among women globally and she felt determined to realize the vision articulated by then First Lady Clinton. 

With Vital Voices, Marina saw an avenue to realize the promise of Beijing. She began a long series of engagements as a participant in and contributor to Vital Voices programs around the world. In 1999, she joined the network when she attended a round table discussion with First Lady Clinton in Reykjavik, Iceland as part of Vital Voices Democracy Initiative, which aimed to empower women building stable, prosperous and democratic institutions in Northern Europe. Marina went on to contribute to the development of 2002’s Women Building Democracy in Russia held in Washington, D.C. Two years later, Marina attended the anti-trafficking initiatives Strategies to Combat Trafficking held in Tokyo, Japan, where she participated as an expert. Marina remembers 2005’s Beijing at Ten program held in New York City as definitive in cementing her relationship with Vital Voices. Speaking on several high-level panels, Marina went on to help Vital Voices launch its first regional summit in Cape Town, South Africa in 2007. On her Africa experience, Marina explained, “It was good to learn community level initiatives. My work mostly deals with authorities - training, advocacy, awareness. In Africa, women in my field mostly deal with communities.”

Singular moments of enrichment are what Marina appreciates most about Vital Voices.  For Marina, the quality of the women involved makes Vital Voices stand apart.  She recounts the undeniably life-altering experiences from exposure to high-level politicians like Senators Clinton and Hutchinson to intimate interactions with renown women leaders like Northern Ireland civil rights advocate Inez McCormack and Ukrainian anti-trafficking advocate Oksana Horbunova.  “Before Beijing I thought that I was alone.  We felt the power of women from different countries -- meeting very powerful women from other countries and learning from each other.  That’s what I love about Vital Voices.  Education, educating society, and making the issue of domestic violence visible is so much work.  It is much easier when you make this issue not just something that exists somewhere but connect it to real women whose lives may be lost tomorrow,” Marina explained. 

In 2004, Vital Voices selected Marina as an honoree at the annual Kennedy Center benefit.  In her speech to the packed theater of some of Washington’s most influential policymakers, advocates, and philanthropists, Marina told the audience how she overcomes the challenge of hearing stories of neglect and abuse, witnessing women in pain, and facing threats of violence.  There are two reasons, Marina explained, that she continues her campaign to strengthen the voices of women suffering from violence.  Drawn back to her days answering hotline calls, she recounted the seven hundred calls she answered in her first year and the hundreds that followed thereafter when she explained, “For me, behind each number is the story of a woman: her pain, her suffering, and yet also a testimony of her strength and courage that gives the strength to go on and not give up.”  Equally as important to her success, Marina assured the audience, are the women in her support network, like the pioneers of the Vital Voices Global Leadership Network, who she relies on for support and inspiration.  “The people that surround me support me on this journey. ... Mostly its women, the networks of other women, wonderful American women who came to Russia at the beginning of the 1990s to make a difference, and who have been working with me, shoulder to shoulder. ... And also thousands of Russian women that work today, dedicating their lives to combating violence against women.” 

In October 2007, Marina traveled to Kyiv, Ukraine for Vital Voices Global Partnership’s Eurasia Leadership Summit for Women and Girls. On Day 2, leading a panel discussion Combating Violence Against Women in Eurasia, Marina looked down the long table of impressive women engaged in grassroots advocacy for victims of domestic violence to see a familiar face.  Sitting beside her was a former trainee of Center ANNA’s internship program, who Marina personally mentored over eight years earlier.  Mavlida Salihova, now director of the Women’s Crisis Center Oydin Nuri in Uzbekistan, sat on the panel not as a novice but as an experienced advocate poised to deliver instructive guidance to the captive audience.  Marina felt she had come full circle - she was a witness not only to the progress made for women victims but also for women human rights defenders.  Indeed, Mavilda, Marina observed, walks on eggshells to operate the Women’s Crisis Center Oydin Nuri in Uzbekistan, where authorities’ strict regulation of non-governmental agencies often inhibits their ability to function.  Seeing her sitting proudly on a stage to speak out about her work gave Marina strength and deepened her conviction that the movement against gender-based violence could be curbed, even in the gravest environments.

Extending support to other domestic violence advocates, particularly women working on the front lines of the crisis, is crucial.  According to Marina, there is a “mutual commitment to each other” that exists among networks of women.  They are supportive spaces for “personal-professional friendships” that are sustaining and re-energizing because women, Marina reflects, appreciate everyday difficulties and understand what must be overcome to succeed.  “The moments when your strength is tested, knowing the network is there is very important. The connection with other women is valuable because most of us - we’ve been there, done that so we can relate to each other.  We have respect for each other’s experiences.  And though there are differences, in most ways we are the same.”

The issue of extending one’s network is vitally important to Marina, who sees a new problem in Russia.  Not enough young women are connected.  The younger generation is silent. 

Marina, as her life’s work demonstrates, does not easily accept silence among women.  To alter the current course, her generation of trailblazers, Marina argues, must recognize the need to reach out to young women so their voices are heard in the ongoing campaign against domestic violence.  Young women should not take their rights for granted, nor should established women ignore their perspective.  “We can’t keep the circle small,” she explained.  “It is necessary to ensure the succession of generations.” 

To engage the younger generation, Marina travels to speak at colleges and universities around the world.  Most of all, she enjoys helping women like Mavlida to develop new non-governmental organizations - advising on strategic planning, commenting on materials, and designing viable organizational structures.  Importantly, she also continues her work with Center ANNA and its broad network of emerging women’s rights advocates and agencies.  To date, Marina’s impressive network spans to over one hundred and twenty government and public sector agencies throughout Russia and Eurasia.   

When she began, Marina was alone and isolated.  Each domestic violence survivor depended on a personal connection with her.  The phone never stopped ringing, and no one else answered besides Marina. 

Today, the phone does not stop ringing, but the callers represent a broader, richer network of survivors, advocates, and young women eager to maintain a personal connection to Marina.  She is no longer alone, and she no longer faces the daunting challenge of overcoming the public and private obstacles of being a human rights defender in solitude.  Instead, she is inspiring a network of rising voices to share her mantel of leadership and to ensure that the campaign against domestic violence survives and succeeds well into the future.

Marina works with survivors of domestic violence and human trafficking.  Help us support the critical work of women like Marina, contribute to Vital Voices today!

For more information about Vital Voices publications, please contact Melysa at melysasperber@vitalvoices.org.

To learn more about Vital Voices Eurasia programs, please visit our Eurasia program page or contact Tanya Woynarowsky (tanyawoynarowsky@vitalvoices.org).